According to the American Diabetes Association, "Type 1 diabetes is usually diagnosed in children and young adults, and was previously known as juvenile diabetes. In type 1 diabetes, the body does not produce insulin. Insulin is a hormone that is needed to convert sugar, starches and other food into energy needed for daily life. Only 5% of people with diabetes have this form of the disease. Type 1 and type 2 diabetes have different causes. Yet two factors are important in both. You inherit a predisposition to the disease then something in your environment triggers it."
This is good info to know, because there is much opportunity for shame with this disease.
I've had issues with my weight for all of my life. I've lost weight, and gained weight. I've been thin, I've been fat. I've eaten healthy foods and I've spent my share of money on junk food. I've exercised and I've laid around on the couch. But the truth of the matter is, I come from a family of substance abusers and my substance is food. My parents were both alcoholics. I knew at an early age that I did not want to become one. As a result I tend to find my comfort in food instead of a bottle.
I don't say this to imply that one is worse than the other. It's just a sad fact. The older I become, the more I stew about things. The more I stew, the more I eat. The more I eat, the less I feel like exercising. And so the vicious cycle is born. And, you know what makes me stew the most? Having diabetes. So there you go.
This is one of the reasons I started this blog. I needed to get that off my chest. I feel guilty about developing diabetes and it keeps me in a rut. I am not a stupid person. I know that this disease can kill me. I know that if I take proper steps I can keep that from happening. But you know what else I know? Life happens. Stuff goes wrong. You have bad days. It gives me a tiny bit of comfort to know that I might have been given fast track to this and didn't just bring it on by mindlessly eating donuts.
What a crazy world in which we live, huh? Such mixed messages we are delivered all the time. If you smoke you are bad. If you drink too much you are bad. If you eat too much you are bad. But hey, at the same time, did you try that recipe for sinfully oozing molten chocolate bundt cake? I want bundt cake!
I quit caring about how I look awhile ago. That battle is behind me. What I worry about now is my A1C — the test you are given every three months to see you blood sugar averages. I worry about my eyesight. Diabetes can cause blindness. It can cause heart disease. Kidney problems. The list goes on.
I quit caring about how I look awhile ago. That battle is behind me. What I worry about now is my A1C — the test you are given every three months to see you blood sugar averages. I worry about my eyesight. Diabetes can cause blindness. It can cause heart disease. Kidney problems. The list goes on.
So, I'm working on it. This blog is my journal. I'm sharing with you my demons. Be patient, please. I need to share my weaknesses, but I promise that I'll share my successes too.
You are an amazing communicator and I eventually see a book in these posts that will help other people get past the blame and shame and into the what do I need to do to get healthy and have my blood sugars as stable as they can be most of the time!
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you so much, Red.
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honest, raw journal post. I have just taken on a new job as a sub nurse with one of the local school systems and yesterday I was at a middle school that had 7 students on insulin pumps. Having been out of Nursing for a few years, I came home with a head ache, slightly overwhelmed, trying to master the pumps, counting carbs, correcting for high blood sugars...and I was just the nurse, not the diabetic.
I, in part, understand your daily struggles. One of my best friends and her 20 year old son are on insulin pumps...(surely a genetic predisposition) I will be going to her house next week so she can teach me more about the pump. At the same time, I was amazed yesterday at the proficiency of these kids...all diagnosed at a young age, they just acted like this was all normal and fine. I think in many ways, it is more difficult for the late onset diabetics, who grew up eating "normally" and then, suddenly was requested to change.
Also, in part, I can understand your frustrations. I am not diabetic, but I have a low thyroid and I have to eat very few calories (mostly fruits and veggies) in order not to gain weight and in order to feel well and have energy. I need to exercise most days in order to keep everything strong and healthy and in order to keep my heart beating correctly etc... I pretty much eat like my diabetic friend, because it makes me feel the best and is most kind to my metabolism. But then there are those Cookie Cottage days...
Anyway, just wanted you to know that I hear you, and wanted you to know that I understand that this was one those days when all seems less than fair. I do look forward to the other days filled with humor, and days filled with new hope. What I do know, with you, it will always be interesting. Looking forward to following your blog! Marcia
Thank you, Marcia. I suspect you are right about late onset being more difficult to master. Old habits die hard.
ReplyDeleteAnother raw, truthful and powerful post. Isn't it incredible the guilt we feel with getting this disease. One too many ice cream scoops and here we are.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I was that 5% that was diagnosed with Type 1. But at the age of 34. What I find so insulting is the change of tone the health care providers have when they realize I am not type 2, but type 1. They are so much kinder and compassionate to me. It infuriates me.
I want to be normal every day of my life and know how everything affects me. But, I keep trying and hoping I can manage. We have to do the best we can and then some days, even better. Always here to support and encourage you. We can do this.
Thanks so much, Kristin. Yes we can!
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